Tuesday, July 24, 2012

20 Death Scenes

My kids and I haven't had a chance to play RPGs in quite some time.  I do, however, play weekly with my friends.  One game we plan to try out in the not so distant future is an old-school style game called Dungeon Crawl Classics ("DCC") by Goodman Games.

DCC has a high mortality rate, and since I'll be a player rather than DM, my characters will be dying a lot.  So I decided that it might be useful to have some final moments ready for when my characters kick the bucket.  You know, just a few last words and actions before giving up the ghost.

Roll 1d20:

  1. Try to say something, but keep spitting up blood.
  2. Be the guy who cries for his momma.
  3. Pull another PC close to your face and whisper a single, final word, as if it is a vital clue upon which the other character's survival depends.  Something vague like, "the sanctuary."
  4. Chuckle to yourself as you finally comprehend the universe's big joke.
  5. Be lost in confusion and utter disbelief.  You have no idea you're dying.
  6. Smile and say something like, "That's not so bad.  I've had worse."  Then keel over without another sound.
  7. Die slowly, thinking each sentence is your last.  Make the scene get progressively more awkward as you run out of things to say.
  8. Swear like a sailor.  Nothing but a long, unbroken stream of what Spongebob would call "sentence enhancers."
  9. "Well, this is it!  So long!"
  10. Blame one of the other PCs for your death and place a curse on them.
  11. Shower everyone around you with praise ("You were all so wonderful, thank you, thank you!"), then politely bid adieu.
  12. Act like you're faking your death.  "Just kidding, folks, I'm fine!  See?"  Then die.
  13. Explain to everyone around you in exquisite detail how badly it hurts, how it's more excruciating than they can possibly imagine.  Leave out no details.  Then:  "Just wait, you'll see!"
  14. Give bogus surgical instructions on how the other PCs must save you.
  15. Obsess over what a big mess you're making.  Blood and guts all over your new armor, your new boots, the carpet, etc.  
  16. Make a bizarre final request about an heirloom or a body part, or both.  Think in terms of the watch in Pulp Fiction.
  17. Offer to sing to those around you the "song of my people."  Begin by singing a poignant note, then die, followed by scatological sounds as your body voids its bowels.
  18. Tell one of the other PCs (roll a die to determine which one) that you always secretly loved them.
  19. Demand that certain rites be performed before you die to avoid your soul suffering eternal torment.  Tenaciously cling to life until those rites are performed.
  20. Act mortified (see what I did there?) and embarrassed, apologizing profusely to everyone for dying in so inconvenient a matter. 


  1. I loled heartily. Totally using this.

  2. Announce: "I have lived a spotless life. If I'm lying, may God strike me down this very sec----"